10 Things Only People From Baltimore Will Understand
1. It’s Perfectly Acceptable To Address Everyone As “Hon”
Some Marylanders take offense to the stereotype of the “hon” but not Baltimoreans. They’re loud and proud about it, hon! They even have a “Honfest” that celebrates true hon culture.
So get your hair done up, put on those fake eyelashes, and get ready for a hon parade cause this is Baltimore.
2. There Is Nothing Better On The Planet Than Berger’s Cookies
This classic, chocolatey, delicious Baltimore snack is not meant to be eaten lightly… you need at least a pound of Berger’s or you’re doing something wrong with your life. Quit being an amateur.
3. Except Maybe Kicking Back And Drinking Natty Boh All Day
National Bohemian Beer was brewed in Baltimore before recently being bought out by Pabst. But Baltimoreans don’t care. To them, it will always be the beer that defines their city.
This is, and will forever be, the beer any true Baltimorean craves on a hot summer day at the beach or while watching an Orioles game. It’s Natty Boh, or nothing.
4. Baltimoreans Have Complicated Feelings About “The Wire”
No matter how much they deny it, Baltimoreans secretly love “The Wire” and the notoriety it gives the city. Plus, watching the show and seeing their neighborhoods, stores, and schools as sets is actually a pretty awesome thing about living in Baltimore.
5. Utz Potato Chips Are The Greatest Thing That Ever Happened To The Potato
Utz Potato chips are a way of life in Baltimore. Sprinkle a little J.O. Spice on them and you’re golden. Yum.
6. Wondering Who The Heck The Poe Toaster Is, And Where The Heck He Went
If you’re a true Baltimorean, you’ve undoubtedly tried to get a glimpse of the Poe Toaster—a mysterious man who visited the grave of Poe on Poe’s birthday, leaving only a rose and a bottle of cognac behind.
The tradition went on for 75 years, and though it has since stopped, many Baltimoreans still visit the grave on Poe’s birthday to see if he’ll return. This is just one of those Baltimore traditions that’ll never really die.
7. Love The Orioles Or G.T.F.O (Especially You Nationals Fans)
There’s nothing better than a good old-fashioned baseball rivalry to make a city. Almost all Baltimoreans (with any good sense in them) root tirelessly for the Baltimore Orioles. However, an unfortunate few still pledge loyalty to the Washington Nationals (for God knows what reason…)
So, Nationals fans beware. This is the Orioles’ city. And they’re proud of it.
8. The Need To Eat All The Delicious Crabs You Can Get Your Hands On
Everyone knows that Baltimore has the best blue crabs in all of Maryland. Don’t believe me? Head to the Baltimore Crab Festival. Or, better yet, the Baltimore Crab and Beer Festival.
Baltimoreans know how to make crab in a million different ways and could serve it to you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Tip: you eat crabs with your hands. Utensils are not for true Baltimoreans.
9. A Holiday Hubcap At Nacho Mama’s Makes The World A Better (And Drunker) Place
All Baltimoreans know the best place to drink on a Friday night is Nacho Mama’s. Where else will you get to have a cheap, hubcap-sized margarita? The answer is nowhere. So drink up and enjoy. Plus, the nachos are, well, amazing.
10. Yelling At People About J.O. Spice Being Better Than Old Bay Just Comes Naturally To Baltimoreans
All Baltimoreans know that J.O. Spice is where it’s at. If someone tells you its Old Bay, they’re clearly an outsider. So away with you, Baltimorean posers.
*Reposted from movoto.com/baltimore-md website – posted August 28, 2014
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